Unclean! Unclean!

social distancing, coronavirus, covid-19, covid, symptoms, covid testing

Last Tuesday I woke up feeling off. As I began to fully wake up and assess the situation, I realized I was dealing with many of the symptoms of COVID-19. After a few hours of thought, I decided I should get tested. But where?

I called the clinic I normally go to despite the fact that my much-loved nurse practitioner is no longer there. I asked how I go about getting tested and she said she’d transfer me to a COVID triage nurse. Let me tell you, I’m pretty sure said nurse got her start in the military. Either that or she’s just so over dealing with COVID questions all day long. After a quick assessment she determines that indeed, I do need a COVID test and says she’ll order one for me. I said, “Where will I need to go to have that?” I’m pretty sure she told me “the arena” but in fairness, I was pretty sick so I might have misheard. When I asked where “the arena” is she said it’s just south of their southeastern office. “Do you know where that is?” I said, “I don’t even know what town you’re talking about.” “Rochester” was her answer. It’s a 45-50-minute drive from my house to Rochester. Surely, she jests! Just think about having all the symptoms of COVID, you know what they are, and driving for 45 minutes one way to have a swab stuck up your nose. Um, no.

When I told the nurse I wasn’t going to drive that far for a COVID test she said, “Well, then you’ll have to self-isolate for the next 14 days.” Her tone made me wonder if she was going to send armed-guards to sit outside my house and make sure I was compliant, or at the very least send someone with a “QUARANTINE” notice to hammer onto my front door.

At this point, I tried another clinic, was told I could have the test about 15 miles from home and she’d let them know I was coming. It was all very quick and simple—except when she handed me the list of instructions. Most of the “to-dos” on the list were what you’d expect: wash your hands frequently and stay away from people but my personal favorite was “disinfect all “high-touch” surfaces frequently. Let me get this straight? I’ve got the most dreaded disease of this century and you want me to be cleaning my house?

It’s when my test came back positive that the real fun began. A doctor from the clinic I ended up at called to go over my past medical history and assess my situation. I’m already in the high-risk group just by virtue of my age. When combined with my previous stroke activity and the fact that I carry some extra weight, it put me into the group that wins a Remote Monitoring Kit. I use the kit to take my vital signs twice a day and it is sent electronically to the clinic. Basically, it’s like being in the hospital but taking care of yourself. The kit comes with a blood pressure cuff, oximeter, thermometer, a giant scale, and a tablet that collects the information.

The instructions for using the scale come with some “helpful tips”:

  1. Use the scale in the morning, after you have emptied your bladder and before you eat.
  2. Weigh yourself without clothing or wear the same type of clothing each time you weigh yourself.

Those “helpful tips” are clearly for skinny people. Those of us who carry extra weight have been perfecting the art of “getting the lowest weight” for years. We’re not rookies!

Within 10 minutes of hanging up from the doctor’s call, the county health nurse called. Aren’t sick people supposed to rest? How can I do that when I’m on the phone all day? She had a long list of questions for me, “where have you been, what have you done, who have to been with?” The short answer to “where did I get it” is “nobody knows.” It’s a virus. It’s in their nature to spread and make sneak attacks.

Nonetheless, I still had to call the people I’d inadvertently exposed, and those whom I MIGHT have exposed. I suspect it felt akin to being a leper during Biblical times, having to call out “Unclean! Leper! Unclean!” as they walked down the street. But to be fair, everyone was very nice about it.

The good news is I’m on the mend. And once I am well, it’ll be like having a free hall pass! I’ll still have to wear a mask, no doubt, because that’s the law. But I will no longer have to worry about catching it. I don’t think. If I’m wrong, please let me live in my delusional world for a little while longer.

“The Lord sustains them on their sickbed and restores them from their bed of illness.” Psalm 41:3

Cover photo by Nick Fewings on Unsplash

30 comments on “Unclean! Unclean!

  1. Patti

    Nancy! I thank you so much for sharing part of your journey to corona virus recovery . . . terrible stories are all over the place, but you have added humor and I certainly appreciate knowing that many, many people survive this disease and move on with their lives! It gives hope! Continuing to pray for you, looking forward to seeing you again soon!

    1. Diane Frazier

      Nancy, even when you are sick you are a delight! Loved your blog and so glad you are on the upswing!

  2. Nancy Murphy

    Wow, Nancy!

    Now, sadly, when someone asks me if I know anyone who’s had the Virus, I can reply in the affirmative. That doesn’t make me very happy – but it does give me the opportunity to pray for John AND YOU!

    Your Blog entry reminded me of one thing: your sense of humor has been put there by God, and nothing is going to take it away from you… GET WELL SOON, my friend.

  3. Jan Elias

    Nancy, I love your blog humor, and sharing your experience -as your friend said -gives me hope that this dreaded disease won’t kill ALL of us, after all. I’m so happy you’re on the mend, and will continue prayers for those whose immune systems are compromised, especially, and all of us. I pray that John will continue doing well.

  4. Nici Ahrenholz

    I had no idea you had the virus! Oh man! I’m so glad to hear it was minor and you are on the mend. Is it a “one and done” virus? If so, I hope I get it and get it over with! (mildy that is!)

    1. Nancy Post author

      I have no idea if it’s a one and done virus. I think it is, but I’m sure it’s just one more things the “experts” can’t agree on. Ha!

      1. Brian Freeman

        If large drug makers are spending billions of dollars developing a vaccine I assure you it is a one and done.

  5. Jeneane Herrera

    Dear Nancy–Thank you for the humorous look at your Covid-19 experience. We hope you are mending quickly and without complications. I guess this is the quiet time time you will use to write your memoirs!

    1. Nancy Post author

      This memory right here is about you’ll hear from me for a bit. Any other memories I have will be recorded at a later date when I have a surge in energy. Ha!

  6. Dorothy Spillman

    So sorry to hear that you endured this terrible virus. So glad you are on the mend and hopefully will not get it again. Did you have to quarantine from John so he wouldn’t get it too? Get well, stay well! Thanks for the smiles too.

    1. Nancy Post author

      John and I tried to separate as much as possible but we do live in the same house so it’a a challenge! So far, he’s managed to stay health.

  7. Catherine Bell

    Thanks for sharing your story with the typical humor that we have all come to expect. So glad you are a success story, and avoided hospitalization! Once you got off the phone and were able to rest, what else did you do to conquer it? Perhaps they will be after your blood, now that yours should have antibodies that might benefit others. I’m not knowledgeable on the subject, but believe this might be true.

    1. Nancy Post author

      I haven’t heard much about the antibodies in the blood of healed patients recently. Maybe they let that theory go. I’m not an expert and from what I can see, neither is anyone else. I wasn’t given any medications. I’ve been taking Zinc but otherwise just drinking lots of fluids and resting.

  8. Kathy Sheehan

    Nancy and John, praying for you both! Nancy you are such a wonderful story teller. Yes I agree God gave you special gifts. Praying God lift you both up! Love you! Kathy Sheehan

  9. Loti

    As always your humor made me smile. Thank you for sharing your journey and made be a brief one.

  10. Janet Gallison

    Nancy dear. Your Aunt Janet sends you
    hugs and kisses but am desolate you have
    been /are ill.????

    1. Nancy Post author

      Thank you, Aunt Janet! I will live but a hug and kiss from you right now is exactly what I need.

  11. Dorothy Lee

    Nancy, So sorry you have to endure this virus. It must be so difficult to self-care. At times when we don’t feel well it is comforting to have someone near to take care of us. God has been the best caregiver of them all for those who have hope and faith. You, for sure, are that faithful servant. Blessings day by day. Dorothy

    1. Nancy Post author

      Thank you, Dorothy. John can’t really take care of me, but he is doing a good job of helping with dinner and stuff he can do from a distance. Not being able to be near him has been the hardest part.

  12. Diane Teeter

    So sorry to hear you contracted this crazy virus but love your sense of humor through it all. Praying you feel better soon and no one else you may have been near gets it especially John. My almost 94 year old mom has it. She in a nursing home and they had been doing really well and suddenly they got hit. She sounds terrible yet they say she’s doing ok. She’s up to day 11. Helpless feeling when we sisters can’t do anything to help or just be there.

    1. Nancy Post author

      I’m so sorry to hear that your mom is sick, Diane! I can’t even imaging how hard it must be not to be able to be near her. Because John has not had it yet, we are staying apart from each other and honestly, I could use a hug. :) It’s getting old, but I see the end in sight. God is faithful!

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