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The Year in Pictures

December 31, 2019

A few years ago I started using my last blog post of the year as a compilation of some of my favorite pictures or moments of the year. And, why mess with a good tradition? Here are a few from 2019 that pretty much sum of the year.

In January my longtime friend, Janet (notice how I didn’t say oldest friend?) and I met in Texas to visit Waco. We had so much fun and it turns out we still get along after all these years. We enjoyed shopping, sightseeing, tasting one (or two) of Joanna Gaines’ amazing cupcakes, and all that Magnolia has to offer.

In February our fifth grandchild, Marian Rose (Mari) was born! She was named after my mom and born just five days after my mom’s 92nd birthday. Isn’t she precious?

Though our grandson Charlie’s birthday isn’t actually until April, we celebrated with him in the end of March. He had asked for a signed baseball for his birthday though he didn’t really care who signed it. But, I managed to get a signature from Caleb Thielbar, who pitched for the Minnesota Twins in 2013. (My chiropractor happens to be good friends with Caleb.) I love the look on Charlie’s face when he sees the baseball.

In April we celebrated Easter in shorts, which you can’t really appreciate unless you live in Minnesota and realize how rare it is.

Also in May, Paul turned 40! When did I get old enough to be the mother of a 40 year old? It’s kind of scary!

May took me out to California again, but before I left I had just enough time to stop by Anders’ preschool for his final program. I think preschool programs are about the best entertainment on the planet and nearly missed this one due to car trouble. (You could call in car trouble, or you could call it “operator error”. Either way, it wouldn’t budge). But, I made it in time to see him perform. I love how you never really know what will happen at a preschool program. It’s anyone’s guess and can get quite hysterical. Anders is the cute one in the orange plaid shirt with his hands up in the air. He’s on the left side of most of the kids. It’s true that all of the kids are cute, but I’m kind of partial to the strawberry blonde boy with the big smile.

After the program, the kids all got to dance with their parents. Just look at the joy in his face!

In June, I again traveled to California to be with my mom, My sister-in-law, Betsy drove over from the Sacramento area to spend a few days with us. It was obvious at that point that we weren’t going to have many more visits with mom though she was still doing well enough to get out occasionally. One night we went out to dinner and before we left I asked Betsy to take a picture of the two of us. I knew if I waited until we got there I would start to cry and/or forget. Thankfully, she’s younger than I am (so she doesn’t struggle with her memory as much) and at the end of dinner said , “Why don’t I get a picture of the two of you?” While this isn’t the very last picture I have of myself with my mom, it’s the last good one. I’m so glad I asked Betsy to take it. I’m only sorry I didn’t think to get one of the three of us together.

In July, John and I had Amelia and Anders for a few days over the 4th of July while Paul and Erin were on a mission trip to Russia. The other kids came home and I thought it would be so fun to get a picture of the four older kids sitting on the curb waiting for the 4th of July parade. As you can see, that is easier said than done because, “Nana! The sun is so bright!” Oh well, all pictures can’t be perfect, right?

August was the month when Mom joined Dad in heaven and my whole family was in California for the Celebration of her Life. I saw nephews and a niece I hadn’t see for a long time. It was great to be together in spite of the circumstances.

Two weeks after returning home from California our family got together at a cabin in northern Minnesota. We had a great time swimming, fishing, eating, horseback riding (yes, even us old folks), playing together, and making lots of memories. And yet again, had a little trouble getting everyone to look in the same general direction for the picture. Ha!

Charlie and Jane had been scheduled to get baptized in the end of July but that is when I had to leave town to go be with mom during her final days so the baptism got rescheduled to September. Unfortunately, it was unseasonably cold (low 50’s – payback for the early spring, no doubt) but they didn’t complain as they plunged into the frigid river. We are so thrilled at their decision to follow Jesus as their Lord and Savior.

In October my friend Janet drove up from southern California to meet me at my mom’s house (it had yet to be sold) in Monterey. It was beautiful and warm and nice to visit some places in the area I hadn’t had a chance to see for awhile. There wasn’t one good picture of the two of us but this one is from a hike we took at Point Lobos State Park. The Monterey Bay area of California is always gorgeous, rain or shine. It’s just much more enjoyable on the shiny days.

Our November picture is from Thanksgiving. Since this blog is heavy on grandchildren pictures I chose this one from the “adult table” for our picture of the month. It’s not that we don’t want the kids to eat with us, it’s just that the table isn’t big enough. Judging by the giggles we hear from the kitchen while we’re eating, the kids don’t mind having a minute to themselves without their parents telling them not to eat with their fingers.

I have about 44,000 Christmas pictures but I’ll spare you yet another cute kid photo. Instead, I’ll share one my neighbor took at what has turned into our annual neighborhood Christmas party. Our neighbors range in age from a month to about 85 so we don’t really see each other often. I enjoy hosting a party at our house so people can get to know each other. Everyone brings an appetizer to share and it’s always a fun (and yummy) time.

That’s a wrap on 2019. What a blessing it is to spend time with family and friends. As you can see there were happy days and sad days this year (isn’t that always how it is?), but we count each day and every friend and family member a gift.

Now, bring on 2020 and all that it has in store for us. It’s going to be an epic year, I just know it.

The whale tail at the top of this blog was taken on the day we spread my mother’s ashes at sea.

I Am Not a Lone Tree

November 18, 2019

A couple of weeks ago I experienced a series of symptoms that I later learned all suggested a heart attack. I guess I missed the memo about cardiac symptoms. Who knew that dizziness, nausea, shortness of breath, and sweating were indicators of a cardiac malfunction? Maybe you, but I didn’t. So, once the world stopped spinning, and I started to feel better, I proceeded with getting ready for the day. Don’t get me wrong, I would have preferred to have climbed back into bed, but John and I had appointments to get to so, as women have done for hundreds of centuries, I pressed on.

I’m going to fast-forward in this story, because the details about my medical symptoms are not the purpose of this blog. Long story shortened, I had some tests run on Tuesday, and had another on Wednesday morning before leaving for Bible Study. But, between the incident on Tuesday, and the appointment on Wednesday, I’d heard more about the cardiac symptoms that I’d experienced and was starting to grow concerned. That, combined with a much more painful than usual blood draw on Wednesday morning, left me a little on edge. So, by the time I got to Bible Study, I was kind of a hot mess.

Before our large group meets for Bible Study, the leadership team meets for prayer. As we were gathering a friend asked me how I was and I completely lost it as I told her what was going on. She told me she’d ask the group to pray for me. So, during our prayer time, she mentioned my medical concerns to the group and asked the other leaders to gather around to pray. Right at that moment, all of the women in the room (about 25) walked towards me to lay hands on me and lift me up to the Lord. It was a beautiful and humbling sight to watch these women, whom I love, gather around me.

As my friends moved into a circle around me the sight brought to mind a story I’d heard probably 30 or more years ago. I don’t remember all the details of the story, but this much I remember. A well-loved Lutheran Bishop got very ill and was fighting for his life. Someone asked him what was helping him get through this time. He answered by saying that he felt like a tree in a very thick forest. The tree was ready to fall but couldn’t because of all the other trees in such close proximity holding it up. Isn’t that a great visual of the body of Christ: all of us encircling each other to keep one another from falling?

As a Christian, I am not a lone tree. God doesn’t intend for us to be self-sufficient. He actually tells us to take care of each other. Galatians 6:20 in The Message Bible says, “Right now, therefore, every time we get the chance, let us work for the benefit of all, starting with the people closest to us in the community of faith.”

God also calls us to pray for one another. “Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.” James 5:16

In other words, he made us to need each other.

Thankfully, the blood work I had on that Wednesday morning determined that I had NOT had a heart attack. But, even if I had, I know that the amazing women in my life would be there to care for me, lift me up, and move in close, so I don’t fall in the middle of the storm.

Cover photo by Anna Sabramowicz on Unsplash

Everyday Joys

April 1, 2019

I recently started listening to a podcast called Out of the Ordinary. It’s produced by two friends, Lisa-Jo Baker and Christie Purifoy. Each week they talk about the ordinary things of life, which when they talk about it, seem really quite special. I always feel like I’m part of the conversation and end up laughing along with their antics and tearing up at their sweet stories.

The first show I listened to was called, “An Easy Way to Reset Your Day.” Lisa-Jo grew up in South Africa and in this podcast talked about the joy of sitting down to a cup of tea. As I listened to Lisa-Jo and Christie talk about how a simple cup of tea might actually be just the break you need to jump-start the rest of your day, a flood of memories revolving around tea came back to me.

Lisa-Jo talked about how growing up she always put milk in her tea, which reminded me of my friend, Betsy. It was Betsy who taught me to put milk in my tea. She claimed it’s just better that way. Every time I would visit Betsy, she’d always offer me some tea, with milk, to drink as we chatted. She passed away several years ago but even the very last time I saw her, just days before she stepped into Glory, she asked if I’d like some tea.

Lisa-Jo also talked about the sugar cubes they’d use for their tea. No wonder she liked tea so much! The talk of sugar cubes reminded me of all the times I went to visit my grandparents in Kansas City when I was a kids. They would take me out to eat and, at that time (in the late ‘60’s) many of the restaurants had sugar cubes on the table for people to use in their tea or coffee. Often the cubes were wrapped in paper, which seemed to make them all the more exotic. And, my grandmother allowed me to literally eat sugar cubes straight up out of their paper wrappers! It is the best of memories but definitely not one I want to recreate with my own grandkids—especially when I’m the one left to deal with the consequent sugar high!

Almost every time I make, or see, herbal tea I think back to the time my mom had some friends over for tea. Her friend, Day, had just been diagnosed with some health problems and the doctor told her she should quit drinking coffee, and start drinking herbal tea (again, in the late ’60’s—I’m not sure if that medical advice still holds). She’d brought her own tea bag but my mom was brewing it for her. Having never made herbal tea, my mom asked her if the tea was supposed to turn a darker color and Day responded with, “No, it always looks pretty much like urine.” It’s really hard for me to make herbal tea without thinking of Day . . . and laughing.

None of these memories are extraordinary; they’re just simple memories with people I loved. In this age of social media, I wonder if we’re missing out on memories like this? Is the “break” in our day a time where we scroll through Instagram for a few minutes, or is it a time we really connect with another human? Don’t get me wrong, I’m not pointing fingers here, I do my fair share of scrolling. But, I do miss the one on one connection with friends that used to be so common.

Wouldn’t it be nice to start making some for tea—maybe with a little milk and a sugar cube or two. Because, it’s in the sharing of everyday joys that we connect and are changed.

Kiss Loneliness Goodbye

November 26, 2018

I recently read a report stating that nearly half of the American population is lonely. The fact that people are lonely doesn’t surprise me so much as how many are affected. When I met a friend for lunch a few months ago, she told me she’d been experiencing some loneliness. I had been, also, which is why I had invited her to have lunch with me.

If you know me personally, you’re probably surprised by the fact that I was lonely. I have lots of friends. Why then, would I be lonely? The only thing I can say is having friends is different than spending time with them.

I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that if a person is experiencing loneliness, the Christmas season can be pretty rough. If the statistics are correct, then quite likely half of the people reading this blog today are struggling and thinking that it’s most definitely NOT the most wonderful time of the year.

So, what can you do to alleviate loneliness? Here are a few things that I’ve done that have helped me.

Call a Friend – If you already have friends in your life, think of whom you’d really enjoy spending some time with and give her a call. Set up a date for a meal together, or coffee, or shopping, or a game of tennis. Whatever you enjoy doing. My friend and I now make it a point to have lunch once a month. It can be challenging because we both have busy schedules, but we make it a priority. If you don’t have a friend you can call, keep reading.
Join a Book Club – Now, I don’t recommend this if you hate to read, but if you enjoy reading, finding a book club to join would introduce you to people with a similar interest. I actually started a book club as a small group at our church. We have a great time every month meeting for dinner and discussing our most recent read. Speaking of small groups . . .
Join a Small Group at your church – Most churches have small groups that get together for Bible Study or specific interests. Joining one is a fantastic way to meet people!
Join an Exercise Class – An exercise class is not only a good way to meet people, but the exercise releases endorphins that will, in general, help you feel better. If it’s an outdoor exercise class, triple points for you—or at least double endorphins. Or, you could simply call a friend to meet you for a walk two or three times a week. John and I joined a Water Volleyball class a couple years ago. We’re all horrible players but we have so much fun, and there is always so much laughter that we can’t help but feel good when we leave.
Volunteer – There are so, so many places you can volunteer and it’s a great way to meet people. You could try volunteering at the local hospital, at your church, at a food shelf or homeless shelter, with Habitat for Humanity, or at an animal shelter. Really the possibilities are limitless. Just do an Internet search for volunteer opportunities in your area.
Take a Class – Whether it’s through your local community education program, church, the community college, or a local university, taking a class is a great way to meet people with similar interests. Some stores—like fabric stores, craft stores, kitchen stores, etc.—offer classes or short workshops. I once met a friend at a sewing class and we’ve spent many a fun day together since that time.
Court someone to be your friend – Okay, this one may sound a little bit odd, but don’t dismiss the idea. Just because you’re not going to marry the person, doesn’t mean you can’t work on being friends with her. Is there someone you think would be fun to hang out with? The way I got to know that friend from the sewing class is I walked over to her and said, “You seem like a fun person. I’d really like to get to know you. Would you like to meet for dinner before our next class?” Admittedly, she thought I was a little crazy, but she said yes anyway. I’m known for being somewhat bold, you might prefer a little more subtle approach. Maybe just start with, “Hey, where are you from?” and go from there. If she/he blows you off, don’t be discouraged; there are lots of people in the world, just move on to someone else.

I hope these ideas will help you kiss loneliness goodbye! Whatever you do, don’t just sit around being lonely. It’s no fun, and it’s bad for your health. Who needs that?

Finding the Extra in My Ordinary

October 9, 2017

What’s new? It’s a question I hear all the time amongst friends. When asked of me I seldom seem to have a good response. What is new? I don’t want to answer with “Well, yesterday I got all the laundry washed, dried, folded, and put away.” Because that seems a bit . . . well . . . boring. And yet, when that does happen I’m usually pretty excited. Still, it’s not like getting the laundry done is really making a huge difference in the world. Let’s face it, most of us aren’t moving mountains or coming up with a cure for cancer on a daily basis. But what if we start to look for the “extra” in our ordinary.

Last week I had the opportunity to have breakfast with a young woman I met this summer. She has two kids and lost her husband at the age of 25. I think she’s pretty remarkable and having time to sit and talk with her was a sweet part of my day-a little extra in my otherwise ordinary day.

My friend had to leave breakfast for a meeting but since I was in no hurry I stopped to meet some women at another table. While we’d been eating we heard them at the table on the other side of the wall very quietly singing the doxology. I figured they must be some sort of Bible study group so, before I left the restaurant, I went over to talk to them. (I do this kind of thing pretty regularly, which used to drive my kids nuts. They’ve gotten used to it now. Plus, they don’t live with me anymore so they don’t have to be mortified with my behavior quite as often these days.) Some of the women from the doxology-singing group had already left so I just talked to the four women still at the table. We talked for quite awhile and had a great conversation. They were delightful women. I learned about what they’d been studying and what they planned on studying next. When I walked away I knew our meeting had been orchestrated by God-another little extra in my ordinary day.

And that’s how the weeks go. Conversations with strangers, noticing God’s creativeness as I observe His world on my morning walk, reading a good book, watching the sun set, spending time with my friends; there are so many ways God adds little extras into my days.

It maybe doesn’t seem as exciting as traveling to a foreign country, writing the next great novel, or meeting dignitaries but it’s what I do. It’s what most of us do. Every day, if we’re paying attention, God shows up in some pretty remarkable ways adding a little extra to our ordinary. And, it matters. Maybe the conversation I had with my friend or that Bible study group won’t change the world, but it changed my world for that day, and hopefully blessed the others involved, too.

So what’s new? My extraordinary life. What’s new with you? What are the extras in your ordinary?

I Can’t Believe That Worked!

January 18, 2016

“I can’t believe that worked,” I thought to myself after my neighbor stopped by with dinner. Let me explain. Last Tuesday I wasn’t feeling well and had no intentions of making dinner (which, even on a good day, isn’t all that uncommon). So, as a joke, I posted this comment on Facebook: “I am currently accepting all offers of dinner brought to my doorstep. (No peas or pickles, please.)” And yes, I did include the part about the peas and pickles because, even though I didn’t expect anyone to take me seriously, I just couldn’t risk having someone show up with something like a chicken pot pie full of peas. But again, my post was very much in jest – as are many of my Facebook posts. Let’s just say that most of my Facebook friends are acutely aware of my distaste for cooking.

And then, the most incredible thing happened.

At 6:12 PM Tuesday night my neighbor, Jessie, posted a reply: “Have you had dinner!?! I have some yummy food right out of the oven . . . and there is plenty! Can be to you in 5 minutes!!!” I replied to her comment with the assurance that I really was kidding but, then again, I wouldn’t refuse her food. That would be rude! Besides, by that time I was starting to get hungry and still had no plan for what to eat. Nothing that was currently in my house sounded remotely inviting. Jessie, true to her word, showed up a few minutes later with a plateful of delicious food! All I can say is, “Wow!”

I’m sure you’re thinking, “Well, they’re neighbors. They’ve probably been doing nice things for each other for years.” But, the only thing you’d be right about is that we’re neighbors. She lives around the corner. We barely know each other. We were actually Facebook friends before we ever met in person (which was just ONE other time before Tuesday night.) We actually “met” because of another neighbor – our sweet 91-year-old friend Lil, whom we both adore. And, we both love Jesus. That is our main connection. Needless to say, I was blown away by her kindness.

The next day several friends asked me, “Did your neighbor REALLY bring dinner to you last night?” “Yes,” I responded, “I can’t believe it, either.” A kindness like that doesn’t go unnoticed.

It’s a good reminder of two important things:

Despite all that is wrong in the world there are still plenty of good people ready and willing to make a difference in someone’s day.
You and I can be that person for someone else. It doesn’t take much to make someone’s day.

In December I participated in a friend’s challenge called Advent Act of Kindness. Each day we were to do a random act of kindness, be it donating to a worthy cause, buying coffee for someone, or just doing something nice. I did so quietly primarily because I was afraid I’d miss a day or two . . . or ten.

I really didn’t want to attract attention to myself; I just wanted to see if I could do it. I did in fact miss a few days but something interesting happened in the midst of that time. On some of the days I had an idea of what I planned to do, but 25 days is a lot to plan for, especially during the Christmas season. So, on the days when I hadn’t a clue what to do I’d ask God to show me what random act of kindness I could do that day. And, He did.

One day, it was as simple as noticing the woman in the adjoining stall of the church bathroom was crying and taking the time to see if she was okay. (We are now friends.) Another day I saw a Facebook post from a friend who had two sick kids. I was making Sloppy Joes anyway; why not make a double batch? Easy stuff.

It’s not life changing stuff, just a little bit of shared love.

My point is not to toot my own horn but simply to let you know that what seems like a small kindness to you can make a huge difference in someone’s day. I know Jessie’s kindness made a difference in my day and will be remembered for years to come.

What can you do to add joy to someone’s life today? Don’t know? Ask God. He’s full of great ideas.