What’s in YOUR purse?

I have a friend who once told me that she cleans her purse out every night. Of course, she’s gotten married and had two kids since that time so she may have changed a bit, but she is one organized woman. I on the other hand, carry more of a bucket than a handbag, and it gets cleaned out, well, seldom.

So, when Women of Faith announced a contest for blog writers, with the topic “What’s in Your Purse and Why?” I knew right away that this would be fun. What’s the prize, you ask? The world’s smallest Bible, which hopefully, will fit quite nicely into my purse right next to the extra strength glasses I’ll need to read it.

Before I start there are two things you need to know. First off, I haven’t cleaned my purse out since my return from Armenia (though I did remove the hand sanitizer hanging on the outside.) The other thing you need to know is that I just took my purse off its resting spot – in other words – it hasn’t been edited. So, here goes.

 Front pocket:

• Miniature flashlight because you only allow yourself to get caught without one on a mission trip ONCE. In a pinch you can use your cell phone light (for about 30 seconds) but like I said, you’ll only do that once.
• Key card to the workout center – it had to go back in once I returned home if I intended to ever workout again.
• A single-use plastic luggage closure thinga-ma-job which will keep your luggage zipper zipped but can still be cut off by the security peeps without damage to your suitcase. I have yet to travel, since 9/11, where they haven’t broken my recently-purchased “TSA approved lock,” so I don’t bother locking anymore.
• Nail clippers – because now the National Transportation Safety Board has come to the conclusion that we can’t really do damage to anyone with nail clippers and I need it to remove said luggage closures.

Inside pockets:

• Business card holder which surprisingly enough has some of my business cards inside. They are handy to have around should someone want to say, do business with me, or just want my email address. Don’t leave home without them (oh wait, that’s my American Express card.)
• A candy wrapper – not just any candy wrapper, but one that was wrapped around a piece of chocolate at a tea I was at in Armenia. The picture on the front of the wrapper portrays a beautiful little chubby-faced girl. I think she looks a lot like me.
• Two Burger King gift cards – I keep these in my purse for the times I encounter homeless people. After reading Under the Overpass I can’t just walk by anymore so I like to have something to offer.
• A piece of paper with everything written in Armenian. I have no idea why.
• Two slips of paper (one with a list of prayer requests and one with an email address) Presumably, those were put there so I wouldn’t lose them. I guess that part of my plan worked.
• My friend Leslie’s Business Card now that she is a pastor and has her own.
• Dental Floss – incredibly handy for when things get stuck in your teeth. Enough said.
• MNBTG Website Cards – because I think it’s a great website and I like to promote it, especially the Laugh section because I know one of the authors VERY well.
• Lip color, lip gloss and lipstick because a girl can just never be too prepared to deal with the lip situation.
• Miniature PINK Swiss Army knife which may have actually entered my purse after I returned home though I think it, too, would pass inspection at the airport.
• Another Nail Clipper – I don’t think I really need two, however.
• A little pill container – because the Girl Scout motto is “Be Prepared” (or at least it was when I was a Girl Scout.)

That’s it for the pockets; now to the deep hole in the middle:

• My wallet. Every purse has to have a wallet but mine is especially small because I don’t like the extra weight a normal-sized one adds to my purse. Perhaps you can see why.
• 12 Receipts from grocery stores, clothing stores, restaurants, and the post office because there is never a trash can when you need one.
• 3 Grocery Lists – see reason listed above.
• Dirty Kleenex – because you can’t just leave those things lying around anywhere.
• Last week’s Bible Study lesson – with prayer requests on the back. What can I say? I don’t clean this thing out very often.
• Menu for the Nordstrom Café – I ate there last week and since I have this odd soy and dairy intolerance I kept the menu to peruse at home to see what I might want to have next time. And, by the way, they are o.k. with you keeping their menus.
• Last week’s Church Bulletin – at least I think it’s from last week.
• Directions to a friends’ house because I didn’t want to get lost.
• My Air France Boarding Pass stub – I usually keep my stubs as proof that I got on the plane should Delta ever decide not to credit me for my Frequent Flyer miles. Where the other stubs have gone, I haven’t a clue, but fortunately I did get credited for all 12,692 miles.
• A Tube of Borage Dry Skin Therapy Hand Cream. This is simply the best, and admittedly most expensive, hand cream I’ve ever found. I use it frequently and thus, it’s in my purse.
• Cottonelle Flushable Moist Wipes. These are incredibly handy on a mission trip, or anywhere you go that may not have all the necessary accommodations in the restroom. And, in a pinch, they can be used for cleaning your hands and neck in a hot climate – which Armenia was not.
• LOC Towelettes are always in my purse because, quite frankly, I spill a lot. These are made by Amway (or whatever they call themselves now) and are WAY more effective than Tide-to-Go.
• A Larabar is on hand should I need some sustenance in a hurry. This is another mission trip leftover. It’s one of the few “power bars” I can eat due to the aforementioned soy and dairy intolerance (most include soy) and I never travel to a foreign country without food because sometimes the eating schedule is challenging. Or the food is. It can go either way.
• My reading glasses because I don’t like it when the kids offer to hold the menu for me when my arms get too short.
• Headphones supplied by Air France (far superior to the ones Delta gives away) for the purpose of watching the in-flight movie. Nice as they are, I still chose to read my book.
• Oh my, yet another set of Nail Clippers. This is getting embarrassing.
• Nail File – Again, Be Prepared comes to mind and clearly three nail clippers won’t do the job alone.
• My Blackberry Holder which doesn’t actually hold my Blackberry. Instead I use it to hold coupons and such so they won’t clutter up my wallet. Usually my Blackberry is in my purse also but I had removed it prior to this exercise.
• And last, but not least, three pens. Are two enough, three too many?

Well, if you made it to the bottom of this list, you are truly a dedicated reader. On the bright side, my purse is now cleaned out so, even though I was, moments ago, prepared for “Let’s Make a Deal,” this list is obsolete and my purse is about three pounds lighter.