I’ve been a little silent on the blog here lately. If you know me, you probably know that my mom died on August 3. Over the past several months I’ve traveled out to California several times to be with her, knowing that every time could be the last. Thus, I just haven’t been in the mood to do a lot of writing.
Grief is a funny thing. If you’ve lost someone you know that you can be perfectly fine one minute, and a total mess the next. But, I’m grateful for the time I was able to spend with her and even in these few short weeks I’ve found myself thinking, “Oh, I should call mom and tell her this story about the grandkids. She’ll find it funny.” Now, whom do I tell them to? Surely there’s someone who wants to hear my funny stories. If you’d like to volunteer for the position of funny story listener, let me know.
This week I got the sweetest card from one of my mom’s friends. She told me about how when she had just joined the golf club my mom and dad belonged to, my mom made sure to include her in whatever was going on so she could get to know people. She’s not the only one who has told me how my mom helped them get to acquainted and I think it tells you a lot about my mom. She never wanted people to feel left out. I hope I can emulate that trait.
Mom taught me quite a few things actually. She had an indomitable spirit. When life knocked her down, as it did several times, she’d get right back up again. Her sister died when she was just four years old. This made her an only child so my grandparents basically took her wherever they went. My mom told me multiple times about how my grandparents would take her with them to parties and when her parents wanted to leave they’d say, “Marian’s tired, we have to go home.” She’d chime in with, “I’m not tired!” (I’m sure that won her all kinds of points with her father.)
My mom lost her mom just days after she got married. Maybe that’s when she developed her indomitable spirit, because shortly thereafter she picked up and moved with my dad from Kansas City to Los Angeles. Having made a cross country move with my husband I can tell you it’s not easy and I imagine it would be doubly difficult if you didn’t have a mom to call and complain to.
Mom got breast cancer in her 60’s and worked hard at regaining her strength and moving forward. Then she had her knees replaced (one in her 60’s and one in her 80’s). Neither time was fun, but she worked hard at physical therapy and was soon back out on the golf course. She also fell several times in her 80’s and again last fall. Her physical therapist would laugh at how much spunk she had and was amazed at how she’d work to get better. He tried to talk her into a different walker but she wouldn’t hear of it. She liked the one she had and she wasn’t going to change now, thank you very much!
Like I said, my mom never let life’s hard knocks keep her down. It wasn’t even a question.
Mom was also great at games. She played bridge, Mahjong, hand and foot, and Rummikub, usually for money, which she usually won. There is still a bowl of change in her kitchen cupboard that was just a small portion of her winnings. Even my brothers and I could hardly ever beat her.
I was able to be with my mom during her last few days on earth. I’ve never seen someone so happy to be dying. When my brother told her she’d be seeing Dad and Jesus soon she said, “Yeah, that’ll be fun.”
Though I miss my mom terribly, I’m so happy for her. She can walk again, and isn’t in anymore pain. Why would I want to deny her of that perfect joy? I’d just like one more chance to beat her at Rummikub—and tell her thanks for being my mom.
Wonderful tribute! May peace and comfort be constant companions in a special way in these days.
Sigh! It’s all so bittersweet. I wanna hug you ….and listen to the funny grandkid’s stories too.
I’ll be sure to share some of my stories with you, Karen!
What a beautiful testimony about your Mon. Praying you through the journey of grief. As difficult and painful it can be, it’s healing. God bless you on the journey.
Thanks for you prayers, Nancy!
Nancy.
I am so sorry to learn of your mother’s passing.
She was always so positive and fun to be around.
You and your brothers were blessed to have such wonderful parents and grandparents.
I always look forward to reading your blog. Today I was shocked to read of your mother’s passing. I have been reading your blog since your father passed away.
This is Cindy, I worked for your grandma and grandpa Gall. Your family was a memorable time in my life.
My deepest sympathy to all of you.
Cindy
So good to hear from you, Cindy! Thank you for reading my blog. We are sad to have lost mom but she was so excited to die and be done with her pain. We’ll have to chat soon.
A wonderful essay about your mom and my friend. It occurred to me as I read it, that if I were asked “Who would you wish to be more like?”, I would say Marian Gall. I admired her in so many ways. You were wonderful to her in the last year or so, and I know it meant the world to her. You will need to return to Pebble now and then for a refresh. I hope to see you then.
Sally Reed
Thank you, Sally! You are sweet to say such kind things.
So beautifully heartwarming.
So sorry for your loss, Nancy! It’s so hard to lose your mom! She seems like a wonderful woman, just like you are! Hugs!
Thank you, Jane! You know the pain of the loss so well.
This was so sweet, Nancy. A beautiful portrait of your Mom????I never knew her, but I sure wish I would have!! Praying God’s comfort for your heart and that He will continue to flood you with funny memories to cheer you and share with others!! Love you sista, Patti
Love you, back! Thanks for your prayers and support.
Nancy, so sorry for your loss, and praying for all the days ahead. I loved hearing about your Mom’s journey through life and that she always pushed On! Your Family is Amazing and God sure has Blessed you! Prayers and hugs to you!! Love, Melanie
Nancy, I’m so sorry for your loss. Prayers for you and your family.
Thank you, Becky! I will surely miss her but she was so excited to leave this world for a better one. I’m sure she’s much happier now.
What a beautiful blog post. Your mom sounds like such a great woman and a joy to be around. I’m so sorry for your loss. It sounds like heavan now has a spunky fun addition,. My grandfather had a similar passing, he talked about how he was ready to go and what a great life he had lived. It’s good to know that they’re at peace.